So You Want To Be An Artist? (or How To Deal With Disappointment 101 or Notes on Funemployment 1)

Image from berlin-artparasites

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I was around 3 or 4 when I asked my parents to let me join Little Miss Philippines on Eat Bulaga because I wanted to be just like Aiza Seguerra. I wanted to have my own TV Show, star in my own movie, endorse all the hotdogs I could ever want but my Father said no. He told me to focus on my academics because he doesn’t want me to end up like all the problematic celebrity kids. But I could not be stopped. I joined all of the productions I could. It did not matter if I was a tree swaying in the background or the star of the show. I would finish my homework early so I could play dress up and practice my Little Miss Philippines spiel in front of the mirror. 

For as long as I can remember, I’ve known that I wanted to be in the limelight. It wasn’t just about becoming famous and getting the applause. It was about sharing your life with about 10 million different people at once. Connecting with them. Hopefully making an impact in their lives.

I’ve pretty much known from the get go that this was where I was meant to be, but sometimes life takes over. You’re not pretty enough. You’re too ordinary. Nobody’s gonna cast a big girl. Be smart, girl. Don’t waste your life trying to chase an impossible dream. With my self-esteem lower than the average temperature in Antartica, I hid behind my thick lenses to protect myself from the cruelty of onlookers; used my books and my stories to help me figure out where the hell am I supposed to bring myself now.

How To Write Your First Blog Post and Hopefully Not Suck While Doing So

*currently listening to: “Feelings” by Up Dharma Down feat. Paul Buchanan*

Writing your first blog post is extremely difficult. You have a lot feelings and opinions and funny cat pictures and  hilarious videos that you want to share but you don’t really know where to start. You’re also crippled by the fear that people don’t think you’re interesting enough to read about. You also wanna sound cool and interesting, and never needy. (WHY? LOVE ME.) You wanna exude a certain air of nonchalance that all the cool kids have. There is an art into exuding nonchalance that attracts people like bees to honey because you have to admit, people pay more attention to people who don’t pay attention to them. Tulad nalang ni… #infinitehugot #tangarinakoalways

Anyway, going back to the original point. I am having a hard time composing this first post kasi, pressure. Also, where the hell does one start?!  HAHAHAHA. As you may have already figured out, I was not trained to be a creative writer but I’m working *really* hard to become one.

This blog was created as an exercise to document my journey as a creative. A peek into my stream of consciousness as